The Little, Tiny, Lifesaving List

There are SO many voices. If I were to listen to and apply all the “advice” that I am given…I would need about 50 more hours in the day to…..

make Pinterest crafts/make all meals homemade/ sell 50 products/ have a 4.0/ but don’t go to school because women need to “focus on family”/ but still get my PhD cause I am a woman and women need to “conquer the world”/be involved in the community/but not too much because I need to make my house look perfect (with Pinterest’s help)/ eat clean- so I can live long/ not eat clean because that annoys people/ go to the gym to look good/ but don’t look too good because that annoys people/ go to all meetings/bring dishes to all those meetings/have more kids/dont have more kids/be authentic/but don’t admit to having any problems ….and learn Spanish. ………….etc.etc

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Brene Brown (PhD , Researcher, Author, my superhero) recommends taking a littttttle piece of paper (like one inch by one inch) and writing the names of the people whose opinions truly matter to you in that space. It is intentionally small, so you are forced to narrow it down to your top 3 or 4 people. The people who will love you in your pretty-life-awesome moments, and wont change their opinions of you of you in your tearful-Oreo binge- ugly moments.

When the time comes to make tough choices, to keep going when people are ragging on you, when you feel like you can’t take one more ounce of criticism….pull out that piece of paper.

Remember whose opinions truly matter. The people on that one inch sheet of paper will be there till the very end. Most people you know now will not be an active part in your life in ten years. Their role can be valuable and important now, but if they are not pouring life into you…remember your list.

And add your name to that list.

In the end it will be you, God…and those few people. Apply outside voices only when helpful.

 

Flashback Friday:Originally posted on July 7, 2014

Move Beyond

“The Problem is not that we have too great concepts of ourselves that we cannot live up to; the problem is that our concepts of ourselves are too meager to let us be all that we were born to be

Prochaska & Norcross on Person-Centered Therapy

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It seems like a lot of people have an ego problem.  That a lot of people seem self absorbed, and not conscientious of those around them. However, I believe that most people don’t really know who they are. Regardless of how it may appear, very few people are confident and have much direction. They don’t understand what they are capable of, and the power that they have within them.

This power isn’t as simple and as boring as obtaining money or building a name for yourself. That’s simple. A lot of people have done that. And a lot of those people have died from substance abuse or suicide. What we were “born to be” goes way beyond certain cars or careers.

I think true confidence shows when you can move beyond issues pertaining to yourself and you gain a deep interest and respect for those around you. Its like when your child gets older and you feel more comfortable leaving them alone so you can do other things. You don’t run to their every sound at that point. You are confident that they are alright and you can place your focus on something else. This does not mean that you don’t love them, you just realize that they are not a baby anymore, and you trust them. When we are confident in who we are, we are okay with not having to have every material thing , every need met, every little hurt attended to….because we know that we are okay, and that there is a bigger task at hand.

We were made for more than attending to our own cries. We have greater potential than settle for an western view of success. We cheapen the act of serving and loving as if those were acts reserved for little old church ladies who have nothing else to do. So that’s where I am at right now. I’m trying to move beyond little goals and small dreams that center around “me”. I want to be confident enough, to move beyond myself, and see a bigger picture. We were born to recreate and leave something behind. Cars, houses, clothes will be trash in the end. “All that we were born to be” moves way beyond these material things, and gives attention to those around us.

Grab a Pencil, and be Lead.

My pastor was talking about something Sunday that I wish the whole world could of heard.

If I would of had an extra megaphone lying around I would of handed it to him.

Yes, it was that good.

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How many times have we heard someone say, (or maybe said it ourselves..) that they need to “pray about something” or…”need to make sure I am led”.

The following is not meant to discredit hearing from God, or being sensitive to His obvious “yes” or “no”s.  This is just to remember that He has already given us a big fat “YES” in His word.

He said…

Feed the hungry. Pray for the sick. Be friend the widow. Help the orphan. Forgive your mother. Give your coat. Give money to the poor. Make disciples. Share His message, Proclaim, Baptize,  Cleanse lepers, Cast out demons. Welcome strangers. Visit prisoners.

He said to go.

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So why do we not run with the green light that we have…and wait till He tells us no? Instead of waiting for Him to repeat what He has already said?

Do you think God will be upset if you sponsor a child from this organization instead of that one? Do you think He will curse you if you help a ministry or start one, without hearing an angel from heaven blow a trumpet?

We are afraid, so we act like He didn’t speak. But He did. We will be held accountable to that.

God will direct us  with specifics….when we start moving. We just need to be moving. It does not mean that you need to be apart of EVERYTHING. But it means you need to be apart of something. You need to be doing something.

You have your yes. You have your green light. You are led. Its called the Bible. And He says

“Go for it.”

Monumental Potential.

    “Within a moment there is monumental potential. That is the mystery of a moment. It is small enough to ignore and big enough to change your life forever”

-Erwin Raphael McManus (Seizing your Divine Moment)

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    It’s easy to think that what you do today doesn’t matter. You can skip the gym this one time.You can not put forth the effort and take “an easy day” (just this once). You can ignore…..just for a minute what is inside of you to do.

    But today matters.

    There are repercussions for the little things, not just the big ones. Your day today, has monumental potential. You will sell yourself short of the end goal if you do not value and place emphasis on the small steps that it takes to get there.

Flashback Friday: Originally Posted on May 23, 2014

Taking a Step Back and Remembering Why

I don’t know if anyone has noticed….but I am kind of driven.

love medieval war movies and think it would be awesome to conquer the world some how.

I’m still working on the details for that one.

Although I do not want to change who I am (I believe I am this way or a reason). I want to make sure that I maintain balance and remember why I want to do certain things.

The whole point of it all is to place love and value on people.

And hopefully make a difference in someone’s life.

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It’s easy to say that “one day” when I have millions I will give millions.

But as thousands slip through our hands throughout the year are we still giving?

“When things slow down I would love to volunteer somewhere, …to serve”

When will things slow down? When we retire?

It’s good to want to do big things, I defiantly want to. But “big” things are made up of a whole lot of little things. Am I loving the person right in front of me….right now?

Am I giving when I see a need? Right now?

We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Do not wait to become who you want to be. Be faithful in the little now, place value in this moment, with these people….right in front of you.

I read this this morning,

“You may want to know your calling. Let this be your call: comfort a sad woman. Comfort a mourning child. Comfort a dying man. Comfort.” -Heidi Baker

Although I hope to one day do big great things, I have to remember all the great “little” things now. I believe that these little things heaven rejoices over and brings true glory to Jesus.

Flash Black Friday: Originally Posted on June 2, 2014

Fear Problem = Love Problem

Perfect Love Drives Out Fear. @1john4:18

When faced with fear sometimes I feel like I have to find enough will power to fight it on my own. Like I need to try harder….face fear…and hopefully win the fight.

If we sought loveperfect love in our lives….fear would run.

It would hide.

It would be cast out.

Driven out.

And shaking.

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See we don’t have to fight fear with our bear hands. We need to walk in the perfect love that comes only from God.

Fear is the opposite with Love. If we have a problem with fear…we are having a problem with Love. Seek it out. Fear will flee.

When You Fail.

“If it doesn’t work…”
I think that’s the underlying fear of most people. That’s why we discourage one another, and discourage ourselves. It all comes down to the fear of failing.

Here is a thought for you today.

If it doesn’t work.
If you fail.
If you give your all, and it just doesn’t happen.

Oh well.

That’s not meant to be apathetic. In fact its just the opposite. The person you became, the character you built, to be brave enough, consistent enough, to even try….is worth the possibility of “failing”.

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Most people will never try. Most people are not willing to accept the criticism of their family.  Most people aren’t willing for the investment. However…If it doesn’t work, at least you tried. At least you know.

You are left  in a better position to try and succeed at something else. Because you have built the momentum, techniques, and will power to … even try.

I applaud not only the ones who are “succeeding” but the ones who trying. One day those people will make it, will succeed, and all their critics will be eating their words for lunch, and maybe even for dinner too.

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If you temporally fail…if the certain path doesn’t work..
oh well.
Start a new path. Nothing was lost. Character was gained.