There are SO many voices. If I were to listen to and apply all the “advice” that I am given…I would need about 50 more hours in the day to…..
make Pinterest crafts/make all meals homemade/ sell 50 products/ have a 4.0/ but don’t go to school because women need to “focus on family”/ but still get my PhD cause I am a woman and women need to “conquer the world”/be involved in the community/but not too much because I need to make my house look perfect (with Pinterest’s help)/ eat clean- so I can live long/ not eat clean because that annoys people/ go to the gym to look good/ but don’t look too good because that annoys people/ go to all meetings/bring dishes to all those meetings/have more kids/dont have more kids/be authentic/but don’t admit to having any problems ….and learn Spanish. ………….etc.etc
Brene Brown (PhD , Researcher, Author, my superhero) recommends taking a littttttle piece of paper (like one inch by one inch) and writing the names of the people whose opinions truly matter to you in that space. It is intentionally small, so you are forced to narrow it down to your top 3 or 4 people. The people who will love you in your pretty-life-awesome moments, and wont change their opinions of you of you in your tearful-Oreo binge- ugly moments.
When the time comes to make tough choices, to keep going when people are ragging on you, when you feel like you can’t take one more ounce of criticism….pull out that piece of paper.
Remember whose opinions truly matter. The people on that one inch sheet of paper will be there till the very end. Most people you know now will not be an active part in your life in ten years. Their role can be valuable and important now, but if they are not pouring life into you…remember your list.
And add your name to that list.
In the end it will be you, God…and those few people. Apply outside voices only when helpful.
Flashback Friday:Originally posted on July 7, 2014